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Up All NightI've been up all night,
Fighting a war I can't win,
This theological fight,
That I'm having with no one but me.
My blankets twist and wrinkle
Thinking of my flaws,
My shallow thoughts, my heart so fickle.
Crying so much that I make my throat raw.
I don't know if I can trust
Myself for all that I've done
My voice turned to rust
As I cry out for someone, anyone.
I need someone to hold me.
To tell me it's all okay.
Holding me, but still setting me free.
I need to be loved.
It Isn't MutualI think this is more
Than just a crush.
More than just one reason that every time
I see you, I blush.
I don't want to call it 'love'
'Cause I think that might be rushing.
I don't want to sound like a fangirl,
With all this mushy gushing.
The only thing is-
You don't feel the same.
You don't have the fireworks or fiz,
When you hear my name.
This like isn't mutual.
And it breaks my heart to know,
That you have eyes for another.
It takes my heart to a new low.
I know I must take a leave, go.
But since all the words out of your mouth keep me hanging,
Since you've had me at the first "hello."
I'm afraid of what I'll be left with, once I move on.
The PaintingI sit here,
Do they even know
I'm here with them?
Would they tear each other apart so
If they knew another soul
Resides in the same room?
The man grabbed the lady's shirt,
Pushing her hard.
I expect to hear a cry
When she hits the ground-
But there is only silence.
I long to reveal myself
To stop this evil man.
But I cannot,
For I am a silent pair of eyes.
I sit there,
Waiting for her to get up.
If it were like before
She would begin to cry,
Say she would leave him.
If it were like usual
He'd say he loved her still
He'd say his actions didn't mean a thing.
He'd ask her for forgiveness.
But this time is different.
No cry emits from the mistress' mouth.
His word's were louder,
His actions were harsher.
Words cut through her skin like a blade.
His cheeks were red,
A mix of cold weather, al
Bent But Not BrokenYou spoke to me
In the darkness;
Because the sun is coming through.
You are not broken,
Just a little bent.
You sought me out
You saw the color fading
From my eyes...
And then You showed me
You are not broken,
Just a bit bent.
You tell me;
And you'll see that life is still worthwhile.
"Though I walk through the shadow of death..."
You are there for me.
I am not broken.
And You are slowly fixing me.
Will You Make The Effort?A darkness
That no one sees.
A storm cloud
That people ignore.
A fog of sadness
That people choose to look over.
Will anyone catch her
Before she falls to far?
Will someone rescue her
If she doesn't know how to swim?
This life was supposed to
Her life is not
What she expected it to be.
A story book
Is what her life was
Supposed to be...
Well, where is the happy ending?
Will someone sing
The harmony to her song?
Will there be one
With a white steed coming from the east?
But everyone is playing
In the light.
Not noticing the girl hidden from view.
There is a storm cloud
Brewing and churning...
When will it snap?
No one realizes how close it really is?
There's a fog of sadness
That brims in this girl's eyes.
But she's so low...
They don't even make an effort
To just look into her eyes.
Her life is not what
No fairy tale here.
Just a lonely one
This is her undoing.
Tomorrow Never ComesThere is a song.
The lyrics go like this:
I'll love you.
You want to know the truth?
Tomorrow never came.
It never does.
No matter how much
You say you'll do
It never comes.
I'll love you.
When I wake up
I'll be different.
No matter how many times
You wake up,
It will always be today.
Say you'll do something today.
It never does.
Love Me (Am I Even Worth It)?Would you love me?
Would you give up everything for me?
What about going to the end of the world for me?
How long would it take you (Am I even worth it)?
Can you love me?
Can you give me your heart, without ever asking for it back?
Will you fall for me, and will I fall for you?
Would you wait for me (Am I even worth it)?
Will you love me?
Will I be your first and last?
Would you treat my heart right?
Can you carry me for a while (Am I even worth it)?
Would you love me?
Would you care enough to hold me in your arms?
Could I be yours?
Am I even worth it?
The Screams UnheardShe lets it out.
One last mighty cry
Before she ends it all.
But it falls upon deaf ears.
(It always does.)
She seeks attention.
No one really knows
How short a time
She has left.
(No one ever does.)
She wonders if she'll
If people will care
That's she's no longer there.
(She always will.)
They come in
And see her on the floor
A bottle empty in her hand.
But their screams
Make it rainFeel the hurt,
Feel the pain.
Let it go,
And make it rain.
Caressed by subtle lips,
And liquid finger tips.
Our cheeks brush,
Its more than enough.
But then she's lost.
Consumed by the now,
Restrained by the then
And overwhelmed by what's to come.
Sleeping fear and waking dread.
Monsters hiding under your bed.
Twisting turns, squirming threads,
Dancing lights throughout your head.
You must be willing to risk it all,
Standing strong to watch it fall.
I'll grab your hand through all the pain,
And pull you out as I make it rain.
GoLeave your jacket
on the front porch steps.
Slip off your shoes
leave them where you stood
and go barefoot
into the forest before you.
It's only fitting.
The blackberry brambles
will cut at your ankles
you may shed blood along the way
but never be afraid.
Scars are stories who have yet to grow up.
The branches that cut you may hold fruit that will feed you.
This forest is past-present-future possibilities;
This is the place
where your parents found each other
and found the place
where you planted your shoes.
Everything you have and the clothes on your back
came from this place.
Don't be afraid
to offer it all back;
This forest is your mother
and here you can grow.
So when you lose your path,
when you can see nothing beyond brambles
and stinging nettles,
storm clouds have conquered the sky
and lightning is striking your horizons
Do not be afraid.
Never be afraid.
Go barefoot into the forest before you
and greet your past-present-futu
Dear Jennifer."Do you believe me when I say I love you?" He forgets...
"Yes, of course." Not when you're not saying it he doesn't.
"You know I love you right Jennifer?" He does.
"Yeah, of course." But he doesn't believe you.
Dear Jennifer, it's not your fault he has trust issues.
It's just all the pain and the hurt that has made him like this.
Jennifer, if you have a choice then choose.
Choose him, tell him you love him, give him a kiss.
Because he forgets, he really does, he begins to doubt.
When you haven't said it for a while, he starts to wonder.
Whether you ever really wanted you two to go out.
Whether he forced you into it, it makes him ponder.
Whether you really love him, even if he believes so.
Jennifer, he loves you, but he forgets...
He loves you so much, this you already know.
Walk Away, Im doneWalk away
The lies, deceit
You've pushed me
Leave me here
I was fine
Til you opened your fucking mouth
I dont need it
I dont need you.
Just walk away.
You Captivate MeHonestly,
I don't know how to tell you this...
But you constantly enter my thoughts
A smile crosses my lips
When I see your name light up my phone
Butterflies invade my stomach
Whenever I see you smile
A smile so powerful
That I can't help but smile back
I reach for you in my sleep
Desperately wishing to find you
Hold onto you
Be safe and comfortable
In a way only you can make me feel
Not being able to adequately
Explain my feelings for you
Tells me that this sort of thing
Doesn't happen every day
Frankly, love, you captivate me
Just for a SecondMaybe I can pretend
Pretend just for a minute
That everything is okay
That you're still with me
That you never hurt me
Pretend that you still think of me
Just for a second
Just one fucking second
I want to hear you
I want to hear your voice
That one voice telling me it'll be okay
The voice that calmed me down
Every time I lost control
The voice that once told me I was beautiful...
I miss it, I miss you
I just want to pretend
That you never called me that night
That you never lied
That we still mean the world to eachother...
Just let me think that
Please, tell me that you still love me
Just for a second.
There Goes (That Feeling Again)It happens in a blink
sending your mind
into a deep abyss.
It's the feeling that eats at you,
slow and deep; painful and empty.
I'm feeling that feeling again
and it's bringing me down,
deeper and lower.
Will I ever come out?
There goes that feeling again
and its bring me down quick.
I'm trying to find the strength to surface
but I'm being eaten alive.
As your heart pounds through your skin
the rush of blood
causes explosions everywhere.
I feared it would end this way.
I'm losing this game.
When I open my eyes
will I be living?
HeartbrokenI loved, I cared, I gave you all that I could,
My misfortune; I couldn't be all that you wanted.
I hoped, I wished, and I thought you understood,
My misfortune; my heart felt taunted.
I wondered, I asked, and I prayed for your own good.
My misfortune; I felt so unwanted,
I pleaded, I begged, all to share thoughts I could,
My misfortune; I neglected the hurt you had planted.
I was stupid, I was blind, I was unable to read your mind,
My misfortune; I still messaged you.
I learnt my lesson, I felt the world, I now think I know it,
Dont worry, you shall never feel so lacerated.
I promise, I swear, I shall never speak to you again,
For I deserved it all to have fallen for you.
I was silly, I was weird, and I was dumb to think --
How could I been the one you cherished?
But may you answer if you could -- how could someone be so indecisively cruel?
A cold-heart with its own blood, uncaring with bleeding hearts
I question if you care truly for my well being,
Or if it is just an illusion to fill
Sorry.So yes I am sorry
But know that I care,
I know that you worry
I know you despair-
I wish that you wouldn't
But I guess you can't stop,
I know that you didn't
Feel like you could help.
I know that feeling
And I know that it kills,
To be truly helpless
When your lover hurts.
I know that I shouldn't
But yes I still cut,
And I wish that you wouldn't
But how can you not?
So yes I am sorry.
And I promise I'll stop
Because I know that you worry,
For the one that you love.
One ThoughtYou know that one thought,
That makes you squirm inside?
Maybe it makes you giggle,
Like your stomach is bringing in the tide?
That one thought,
That makes you double take,
Maybe makes you feel fake?
It could be a loving thought,
Maybe "I love you"?
But maybe it makes you stomach feel taught,
Like another friend gone.
That one thought always in the back of your mind,
But when you dig to find it,
Sometimes it's hard to find.
'Cause you push it to the back.
That thought that maybe makes you hate
Of maybe makes you believe in fate.
Or inquires who you really are.
It gives you feelings that you didn't know you had.
Gives you maybe hatred, love, anger
Remember that you shouldn't feel bad.
Remember that it's only one thought.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More